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| Hungover at T5 at 8am on a Saturday. All in the name of Japanese Encephalitis. |
And believe me, I CAN ONLY WISH MY EXPERIENCE OF GETTING THE JAPANESE ENCEPHALITIS JAB WAS THAT MUCH OF A JOY.
Let me start from the top.
Last year when I was training as Cabin Crew, I was blessed to be injected up to the eyeballs with (what I thought) was every vaccine known to man. For free! So when we were looking at what jabs we'd need for this trip, it didn't take long for me to realise I'd had most of them and even better, they were all still in date.
Tick, I thought, that was easy.
But it wasn't easy.
There was one vaccine that was staring back at me on the Fit For Travel website that wasn't in my vaccination records: Japanese Encephalitis.
What the fuck is that?
A quick scroll through the page taught me that "Japanese encephalitis causes headache, convulsions, encephalitis and meningitis. Severe disease can cause permanent neurological damage. About 30% of those with signs of infection will die from the disease."
Cock. I couldn't be dealing with that. I was just going to have to get it done at the doctor's. Let's be honest, I'd been pretty lucky to get most of them done for free anyway. One jab shouldn't have been that much of a hardship.
Shouldn't.
Attempt 1
I booked a travel clinic appointment at my local surgery and amazingly, I only had to wait a week to get an appointment; that may sound like a long time to you, but trust me, that's lightening quick for my surgery.
Anyway, the day of the appointment came and so off I went to the doctors and straight to the self-check in machine, plugged in my details and-
"No appointments found."
The fuck?
Now I guess I was going to have to speak to the lady at the desk and a quick glance at the size of the queue told me I should have arrived more than 10 minutes early.
15 minutes later and I was still in the bloody queue and had probably already been labelled as a no-show. Excellent.
Finally, I made it to the front of the queue and I swear to God this is the conversation that ensued:
Me: I'm here to check in to my appointment, the self check-in machine isn't recognising it.
Receptionist: What's the name?
Me: Emma Ansley
Receptionist: Oh. Oh dear. Please wait here a moment...
*silence*
Receptionist: I have no idea how this has happened but somehow you've been booked in with a nurse that not only doesn't work here, but has never worked here...she doesn't seem to exist!
Me:
Receptionist: No, we have no more appointments this week. I can book you in for next Friday though?
Attempt 2
I booked the appointment for the Friday, and was well aware that this now left me with nearly two less weeks to sort out my vaccinations.
The night before my appointment, I saw I had a missed call and so I reluctantly checked my voicemails. I already had an inkling what the message would be, and sure enough:
"Hi Emma, this is the doctor's surgery, sorry but your appointment for tomorrow has had to be cancelled as the nurse is off sick and we have no one to cover her. Please call us back to reschedule."
I called back. The next appointment they could give me was in a week and a half's time and at this point I was half willing to just say fuck it, and risk not getting the bloody jab for all the inconvenience it was causing me, but at the same time, I didn't want to spend my six months away in a coma in a Vietnamese hospital ward*. I booked the appointment.
*I may be jumping to extremes here.
Attempt 3
Three and a bit weeks had now passed since I was first meant to have my travel clinic appointment and in this time, (despite booking his appointment after mine) Callum the Git had been seen twice by his doctor's surgery. His first J-vax was done, he got a decent price for it (£75 per injection), AND, he was able to have his vaccinations the recommended 28 days apart because he got seen in time.
Of course, I would have had 28 days to spare had I been seen in the first place, but alas, not anymore.
The 7 day, less effective alternative would have to do.
It goes without saying that my appointment was half an hour late, that was to be expected, but what happened next was enough to make me fall into that dreaded and hated category of people who "think they know more than their doctor". Here's why...
The doctor began by looking at my vaccination records and saw that they hadn't been updated since 2009. Correct. Well, sort of. I chipped in and told her I had a load done last year at British Airways when I was working there and showed her my vaccination card.
She picked it up and scrutinised it through squinted eyes. "You're due for X then."
Me: What? No. I had that done last year. It says I will need a booster in three years.
*silence*
Me: And as it was last year I had the jab, I'll need the booster in two years...
*silence*
Me: Two years from now...three years from last year when I had the jab...
*silence*
Doctor: No. It expired three years ago but if you're sure you've had it, then that's a risk you're going to have to take and live with.
Me: Okay, I'm sure.
The doctor then went on to say I had all the jabs I needed for Singapore and I could go.
Alarm bells started to go off.
Me: Singapore? What about the other countries I'm going to.
Doctor: What other countries?
Me: The ones I wrote down on the piece of paper I had to fill out before coming here.
Doctor: Oh...
After listing all of the countries we were planning on going to, the doctor, once again said it still looked like I was all done and was free to go.
HOLD THE PHONE.
What about the bloody Japanese Encephalitis?! I'd have to ask her, but of course, being both socially inept and awkwardly British, I phrased this in a way that made me sound like a complete retard who didn't know left from right solely to avoid making her feel like she had missed something.
Me: Wait...errr I've heard...somewhere...that I might need the Japanese Encephalitis jab...?
Doctor: The what? *Googles it*
It was at this very moment I wondered why I had waited 3 weeks for this shit.
After a quick Google search, the doctor said they didn't do it at the surgery (they did - it said so online) and that I should try and get it done elsewhere. Again my inner Brit came out:
Me: "I thought I'd read online you did it here...that's odd.."
She then went to get a nurse to back her up, but instead of doing that, the nurse came in and pointed to a sign on the wall, the wall in HER OWN OFFICE, that said they DID offer it at £85 per jab.
Excellent.
I could finally get what I came for.
But wait, I couldn't, because they only had the 28 day variety and between them, they had never heard of the 7 day variety.
FUCK IT. I would just get the bloody disease.
They suggested getting the first jab then and there and then sourcing out the second when I was in Asia. FAB. As tempting as scouring round the doctor's surgeries in a foreign country, where I didn't speak the language, looking for the second part of a very specific vaccination was, I said not to worry and I'd get it done somewhere else.
It was at this point, the nurse decided to tell me that I was refusing the vaccine at my own risk and that if I was unlucky enough to actually contract Japanese Encephalitis, my insurance probably wouldn't cover it because I didn't get the vaccine before going. WHERE WAS THIS SPEECH WHEN THE DOCTOR TOLD ME I WAS FREE TO GO NOT 10 MINUTES EARLIER?!
I left with a handful of printed off pages about dengue fever, mosquito bite avoidance and other such fun topics, so at least I didn't leave completely empty handed! Right?! Wrong. Turns out I did because apparently her printer broke midway through the print and what I'd actually left with was one page of information and 15 or so blank pieces of paper that the printer had spurted out anyway.
Marvellous.
Attempt 4
In the end I decided to bite the bullet and get the jabs done at Boots because, well, I actually trusted them. I was expecting them to be far more expensive than at the GP, but they were only £4 more per jab - WHY DIDN'T I JUST GO TO BOOTS IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
I ended up booking an appointment at Heathrow's Terminal 5 because that was the ONLY Boots around that had any appointments left for that particular Saturday.
All in all, it was a BREEZE of an experience. The travel consultation was really helpful and I actually felt like I was getting some solid advice from someone who knew what they were talking about. I would highly recommend getting travel jabs done at Boots - it is SO much easier than getting them done at the doctor's.
The only downside of the whole experience was having to get up at 7am on a Saturday two weeks in a row - one of which I was SO hungover and feeling rougher than a badger's ass, but hey, at least the jabs are done now.
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